Friday 8 January 2021

Fun you, Star Citizen

Star Citizen is a game I own (in as much as you can call it a game right now) but spend very little time playing. Partly this is because I don't get much time for computer games these days and partly because it continues to be a hot mess. Here is an approximate transcript from my most recent attempt at playing:


1) Log in. Find myself in my Freelancer bed. Freelancer is still parked on the surface of Hurston where I left it. Moderately surprised.

2) Sit in pilots seat. Freelancer immediately falls through the planets surface and blows up. Not surprised at all.

3) Respawn in the space station above Hurston. Decline the opportunity to pay 6k to expedite the insurance claim on my Freelancer so I start the regular claim. Timer is ~25 minutes after the recent changes. Decide to wait for two friends to fly their Argo Mole up from Lorville.

4) Friends eventually find their way to the hangar and get into the ship. Ship rolls over during take off and becomes unresponsive to throttle whilst hovering upside down. Hangar doors close. Time is spent trying to roll it over again. Or get it to land. Or get it to take off.

5)  Pilot can't interact with anything anymore and logs out. Mole de-spawns and other player falls to the hangar floor.

6) 25 minutes has already passed. Decide to do some ground mining instead. Spawn Freelancer and fly down to Lorville. Pilot logs back in and friends are directed to meet me outside Gate 1. 

7) Get close to Lorville and it is dark (it is always bloody dark at Lorville..) The landing lights on the Freelancer Max do not work and the exterior of Lorville is badly lit. Manage a good, even landing in the dark, 900m from Gate 1.

8) Go out the back ramp of the Freelancer. Thanks to feeble flashlight everything is still dark. Step off the ramp and fall to the ground. I have exactly parked the Freelancer on the roof of a building with the ramp hanging over the edge. There is no way up onto the roof of the building to get into my Freelancer. One friend logs off.

9) Other friend drives Greycat Roc over from Gate 1 to see the bad parking. Like most wheeled vehicles anywhere near Lorville, it rolls over on its side after a few hundred meters and refuses to be righted. This friend logs off.

10) I run back to Gate 1. Spawn a Dragonfly and drive it back to my Freelancer. Use the Dragonfly's natural bounciness to get up onto the roof. 

11) Once stationary, I get off the Dragonfly and it freaks out, spinning around and running me over in the process. I loose 50% of my health and begin bleeding out. 

12) Manage to get into the Freelancer Max via the side door but the interior airlock door doesn't want to work.

13) Airlock door opens after about a minute. I bleed out and die the moment I set foot in the ship.

Time wasted: 1.5 hours. Almost all of my play sessions start and end this way. Thanks CIG.